me and tips went into town to get stumptown coffee. it's really good, you should check it out. they have this one coffee that tastes like mint, I think it's from indonesia, but then:
HOLY SHIT
boom, look at that! steeples all blown out like, pretty classy stone ediface, dope little trees all around the door. the door was big and oak. yo let's peep that steeple again
omg omg woaaaah and look at ALL THESE FUCKING RIBBONS
what is the deal with all of these ribbons? there was this plaque about gold ribbons mean something with Iraq and blue ribbons mean something else, maybe somebody died, but jesus christ they're so colorful, it's like a leprechaun spilled all of his goddamn gold all over the steps of the church. also, hidden behind the ribbons:
what IS that? I push the dead hero ribbons aside:
holy shit look at that horror movie going on over here. this lady is all holding part of a baby and it looks like she's bleeding all over her dress, and then there's the dude next to her all domed out with blood spatter all off his head. all this is going on right in front of a cross. this is messed up man, no wonder they put ribbons all over the goddamn place, they gotta hide this crazy shit
yikes marble collegiate church, sour note. we were going to just have this as our app then go peep st. peter's and drool, but then there's this sign for something called "the church of the transfiguration." WHAT A FUCKING SICK NAME
what the...... this church is so small... there's a tiny gazebo out front... why is this church so tiny? there's a plaque next to it:
wait wait slow down: holy cucumber vine? wtf does that even mean? it's like blah blah blah holy place of worship, one of the earliest churches in NY, etc, and then they drop this nonsense? pssssssssh this shit better be awesome in the gazebo or
okay so I assume that's christ or something, wtf is with that grenade!? tips is all "dude that is holy water, what are you doing" and I contend no girl, THAT IS A GRENADE. HE ABOUT TO BLOW THIS SHIT UP WITH HOLINESS. also look at that holy wash basin. I want to rub my face all over it, feel my face get all holy
look at this poignant message
oh is that the cross from the gazebo cold chilling underneath the ESB? I THINK IT IS
this church was pretty good but it was nearly as majestic and boner-inducing as marble collegiate. I like that it can just be this runt in the middle of all these huge buildings, that's alright and all, but I mean it's all ugly brick and weird doors and stuff. it's like that girl at the bar that keeps ordering different cocktails every round because she wants to be adventurous. gimmie that session girl any day of the week, dude.
